Welcome to another interview with ancient celebrities.
Today we have with us Nuruddin Salim
aka Al-Sultan al-’Azam Jahangir Padshah Ghazi
aka the Son of Akbar
aka the father of Shah Jahan
aka the Emperor Jahangir
Interviewer: Welcome Jahanpana
Jahangeer: thank you,
Interviewer: Tell me, What exactly have you ever achieved?
Jahangeer: I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question.
Can you be more specific?
Interviewer: Did you invade any cool countries?
Jahangeer: Um, well I could have invaded Somalia.I did invade Iraq
Looking for WMD when they weren’t there.
Interviewer: No, I think that was Bush.
What about prejudicial laws? Did you enact any of those?
Jahangeer: Well, I don’t really have a problem with religion. But I DO have a problem with music directors who rip other people off, I had Anu malik chased by Mughal cavalry.
Interviewer: Well, there are no reports of anu malik being chased
by even one horse. He seems to be ripping off original artists all over the place.
Did you build anything? A fort? A great tomb?
Jahangeer: Well, my father built all the forts
and my son built the tombs.
Interviewer: Precisely, this is my point and this is what our viewers
want to know. Akbar built Agra fort, the citadel of
Fatehpur Sikri, founded a religion. Shah Jahan built the taj,
what did you do?1
Jahangeer: Most recently I purchased this 60 by 40 site
where I’m building
this house but apart from that I haven’t built
anything.
Interviewer: No, that’s my house. I’m building that.
J: Oh, Um, I defied my party and remained
Speaker of the House. And I’m not afraid of Prakash Karat.
Interviwer: No, majesty. That was Somnath Chatterjee, we’ll
be lampooning him some other day. And no one is afraid
of Karat.
Jahangeer: Oh, that’s right.
Interviewer: Well, in this ICSE school text book it says
you were emperor for 22 years.
And frankly, apart from acting in Mughal-E-Azham I don’t know what you did.
Can you please give us an honest answer?
Jahangeer: I stayed in power and provided a stable government,
that’s more than any of your current
leaders can say.
