Pakistan and India were yesterday locked in a fresh row over whether India’s foreign minister made a sexual overture by phone call to Asif Ali Zardari, Pakistan’s president, on Saturday night.
At the height of last month’s attack in Mumbai.
Pakistani officials said a caller claiming to be Pranab Mukherjee had called Mr Zardari on November 28 and threatened Indian military action over allegations Pakistan had backed the terrorist attacks in Mumbai.
The call prompted Pakistan to put its forces on high alert and set off a diplomatic panic.
This time however it sounds like the Pakistani establishment was in its element.
Apart from doing nothing, militarily, a certain amount of nudging and winking was done at the highest levels.
More details were forthcoming from the Pakistanis.
An elderly Indian gentleman allegedly called up Mr Zardari and asked him what he was wearing.
Mr Zardari replied “What would you like me to wear, Naughty.” The rest of the call was rather lurid. Mr Zardari was quite excited about the whole thing.
As a matter of fact, the whole Pakistani political establishment was quite thrilled.
The Military hardliners, however, thought the whole situation was queer and strongly advised against getting into bed with the Indians.
Indian officials deny the incident.
But a senior western diplomat said it prompted Mr Zardari to call Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, to convey Pakistan’s anxiety over the worsening conditions on 1-900 number security most importantly about the Indians being such”a tease”.
“Could this incident have caused a war between India and Pakistan? Worse, could an Internet video have gotten out of ugly impotent Indian leaderswith impotent Pakistani leaders, doing the nasty? That is the big fear of an accidental situation coming together,” said the diplomat.
“The entire porn industry, our only real chance at world peace and continuing as a species in the nuclear age would have been threatened.
People may have given up on the whole sex thing altogether if they saw Zardari and Mukherjee getting it on.
This would have resulted in a near extinction level event. ”
India has denied the call took place, though Pakistani officials claimed it came from a “verified official phone number” in Mr Mukherjee’s office in Delhi.
Mr Mukherjee said he “had made no such call.
I can only ascribe this series of events to those in Pakistan who wish to divert attention from the fact of an attack on India from Pakistani territory by elements in Pakistan. ”
The call was first reported on Saturday by Pakistan’s Yawn newspaper.
“Whether it was mere mischief or a sinister move by someone in the Indian external affairs ministry, or the call came from within Pakistan, remains unclear, and is still a matter of investigation,” it said.
“But several political, diplomatic and security sources have confirmed to Yawn that for nearly 24 hours over the weekend the incident continued to send jitters across the world.
Porn was threatened for the first time on a very real and large scale.
Such ugly people could do some very serious damage to the human race.”
Pakistani erection officials said an investigation had been launched into where the call came from and how it was routed to Mr Zardari. The incident is expected to have no effect on erections held in India in various states.