There’s a saying:- “We learn all we need to survive in the first four years of schooling. The rest is just salad dressing.” OK, now there’s a saying. But even those four years are not as hunky-dory as you might imagine. It’s not always playing in the sandpits, needlessly arranging blocks of letters on top of each other, running around in circles with your head on fire, pulling on the pigtails of the fat girl, violent squabbles over lunchboxes, pointing out the snot dripping from somebody else’s nose to the whole class and laughing at them(and certainly not with), hurriedly putting away the gun you have, with great sleight of hand, brought to school from your father’s personal stuff, reciting the multiplication tables over and over and over and over again, deliberating omitting ‘M’ and ‘P’ while reciting the alphabet, abruptly standing up in the middle of a class and yelling at the top of your voice for no apparent reason, punching arbitrary members of the faculty in the knees and being an anti-establishment figure all the time. No, it’s far tougher than that. There is a deliberate and insidious attempt made by these adults to inflict upon our young minds, at that tender age, malicious and salacious propaganda and it is only with the greatest effort that we can overcome it.
Here are a few seemingly innocent rhymes/poems that we’re taught as children. It is only as adults that we see them in their full, deadly colour.
Wee willie Winkie – the child molester
As soon as we grow up, the first question we should be asking is:- who the fuck is this guy?! I mean, you would think that a person whose entire job description is to go around the city/town and peek into children’s bedrooms when they’re sleeping would be arrested, read his rights and shot(not necessarily in that order). And there’s the matter of his name. Winkie? This begs the question:- seriously? Why isn’t he named something normal, something which would appeal to children, if he’s so friendly and innocent? Like John or Jack or Santhanagopalakrishnan? Additionally, in the continuing series “Things we don’t want to know,” he has ‘willy’ in his name and it is apparently…wee. Whoever the person might be, if he brandishes his manhood so proudly in his name, be it ever so wee, he should not be allowed to walk free among people again.
Think about it, would you want to tell your children the story of a man who goes about calling himself “wee willy” and peeps into their rooms, just to check whether they’re all in bed since “it’s past 8 o’clock” ? Creep.
Usefulness For Adulthood(UFA) rating:- 1. You learn what sort of people to avoid.
Baa baa, black sheep
All men are born equal. Then, God created women and made them slightly more than equal. We learn to respect other people despite our differences with them and despite their social/economic/political/religious affiliations. But this odious piece of apparently harmless children’s lyric destroys all this amiability.
The poet picks on one example in a sample population and heinously singles it out for gruelling cross-examination. Affixing the appellation “Black sheep,” upon it, and sparing the other, ‘normal,’ white sheep, the poet then positions a seeming trap before the ‘different’ specimen:-
“Have you any wool?”
What this brings out clearly is the suspicion mainstream society still has about the honesty of people who are different. By specifically picking out the black sheep among all the sheep, and not the white or the yellow or even the brown, and involving it in this maelstrom of corruption allegations, it is implied, nay, clearly claimed that black sheep are highly mendacious and untrustworthy, especially when it comes to wool. The frightened black sheep then blabbers whatever comes to its mind, including some diarrhoeic crap about a form of socialistic distribution of the bags of wool it has(one each for the rich master, the middle class dame and the poor little lane-dwelling boy). This xenophobic little lyrical misadventure is better not taught and should be banned. Or atleast relegated to moral science books. No one reads those.
UFA rating:- 0. Seriously, I didn’t learn anything from this stupid rhyme. And I actually rhyme better than this idiot. Since when did “dame” and “lane” sound the same? Fool.
Georgie porgie, pudding and pie
This little shitfest advocates rape; or sexual harassment, at the very least. And promotes psychopathic behaviour in young boys. Consider:-
“Georgie porgie, pudding and pie. Kissed the girls and made them cry.”
This is only a step away from:-
“It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again.”
Additionally, Georgie seems quite a coward. “When the boys came out to play,” he just runs away. If you’re going to randomly kiss girls, atleast have the courage to stay for the castration.
UFA rating:- -2.
I’d go on but my ethics are being questioned here by fellow members.
