Surprising many with his political savvy and able manoeuvering of strange politics, DMK supremo M Karunanidhi today announced the end of his latest fast on account of hunger. Speaking to reporters from his Gopalapuram residence in Chennai (formerly Madras), Karunanidhi said it was great hunger resulting from the strenuous day-long fast that had prompted him to take this decision. The plight and suffering of himself had moved him, he said, and he was no longer willing to subject innocent Tamils like himself to horrible consequences. Mr. Karunanidhi then proceeded to break the fast by sipping apple juice and eating an entire goat.
Begun yesterday in connection with something or the other related to Sri Lanka, Mr. Karunanidhi’s fast is now officially the world’s fastest fast, ending in less than two hours and lasting only as long as a meal. As he sat determinedly in his house, the smell of masala dosa wafted across from the kitchen and taunted and teased him and drove him, in his own words, CRAAAAAAZY. Eyewitnesses aver that Dr. Karunanidhi, eminent man of letters in Tamil, said “*#@$ this shit! I’m eating!!” and darted across to the kitchen and broke his fast. Meanwhile, Tamil leader Vaiko somehow made his way to Karunanidhi’s house and decided to pre-emptively break his fast unto death that he had planned to embark upon only the next day. “If I am not fed, there will be a bloodbath in Tamil Nadu!!” thundered the firebrand leader, who was then led away and given a bath by noted Tamil actor Prashanth.
None of these issues, however, are expected to increase the DMK’s prospects in the May 13th polls.
