2012. The world ended. The Mayans predicted it.
Several important things happened between 2009 and 2012. The most important:
North Korea tested nuclear weapons.
The United States put Zoom function on several of its satellites.
The RSS (a quaint cult of old men wearing shorts, gathering in parks not laughing at all)was concerned that its political wing was doing well only in South India.
Well, most of that happened in 2009.
The rest happened in 2010.
In February of 2010, the RSS (a quaint cult of old men wearing shorts, gathering in parks not laughing at all, thus the opposite of the laughter club of Jaynagar) launched its covert program to convert all of the North into staunch Hindus.
Unfortunately, since North India was in no mood to listen, North Korea was their target. Kim Jong Il by then had lost much of his cognitive senses and mistook the old Pracharak for his late father, another old man inexplicably seeking power.
The whole of the populace above the 38th parallel and below the armpit of Communist China were worshipping pagan Hindu Gods by November of 2010. It helped that those who refused were shot. Twice, just to be sure. Thus in 2010 when Arthur C Clarke predicted
the rise of a second sun and a new dawn in a poetic and scientific way, the world had indeed succeeded in none of those endeavours.The Hindus of North Korea rejoiced through much of 2011. Hinduism had been known to bring joy to 7 or 8 people circa 1998 and the same was being witnessed in North Korea on a somewhat larger scale.
Confident of their victory in North Korea, if never again North India, the RSS
(a quaint cult of old men wearing shorts, gathering in parks not laughing at all, thus the opposite of the laughter club of Jaynagar and indeed of Indiranagar) ordered a mighty celebration during Diwali (the festival of lights, a poignant occassion where teenage boys set fire to things and of course launch rockets old school (with fire and fuse)).
During said Diwali the US satellites watched as a thousand missiles flew into the air, albeit only two hundred feet, the Zoom function made those missiles seem a lot closer to American eyes.
U.S. President Barack Obama, a left leaning liberal and therefore an enemy of rockets as well as Hindus, arrived at the conclusion that these rockets were nuclear tipped and new york bound.A re-election bid helped him make this decision more objectively. “Change we can believe in” was gone. Nobody had any change anymore. “Nukes we can use” kind of rhymed. The only sensible response was a complete and total annihilation of North Korea. While Obama reached this decision on Nov 12th 2011, it took the American Senate 30 days to absorb and analyze all this. Then the spin doctors went to work on the media insisting that these missiles were on the way and were only delayed due to traffic, since there were so many headed America’s way.
Stock footage of Colin Powel at the UN was replayed . 12 days later the Americans wiped out North Korea and the rest of the world just to be safe, in case a North Korean or two was hiding elsewhere.
Several Pakistanis felt happiness for 6 minutes that they weren’t the cause of the world’s end. They smiled as the schockwaves engulfed their land. The leaders of the RSS (a quaint cult of old men wearing shorts, gathering in parks not laughing at all, thus the opposite of the laughter club of Jaynagar and indeed of Indiranagar and maybe even Hindus)
were upset at the world ending, but they were furious at losing one more election. Several of them promised to return and frowned as the shockwaves engulfed their land.
Since CNN had enough time to send out a quick breaking news report that we were all going to die, the Hollywood producers watching the bulletin all plotted the plot of Terminator 5:Salivation, seeing as how nuclear annihilation was now on the public’s mind. They jumped for joy as the shockwaves engulfed their land.
