Man holding world up: Hoax
A young Bangalorean skipped work this Tuesday claiming that he was holding the world up and could not in good conscience come to work while literally letting the entire world down. Investigative Journalists from Mindry.in have now debunked that theory and revealed Jayanagar resident Sharath to be a “fraud uncle”.
Sharath’s claim was based on this picture taken of him allegedly holding all of Creation up from the lowest part of Antarctica.
After an intensive 2-minute study of the photograph with the naked eye Mindry.in could clearly identify that what he claimed to be the bottom of the world was actually a mosaic floor in what looked like an apartment of sorts in Bangalore.
“We immediately swung into action after this scam was revealed and called up his parents,” says his former high school teacher, who although has no jurisdiction over this matter, and has several problems of her own decided it was her duty to butt in.
Sharath’s 6,000,000,000 followers have gone on a rampage now, burning fossil fuels and chopping down rain forests, allegedly disgusted at his claims being revealed to be a hoax. Atlas Agnihotri a disciple of Sharath first broke news of the fraud but no one was really interested due the lack of Tamil actresses involved in the alleged fraud. Mindry.in, however, known for its chronic lack of actresses didn’t really mind, and investigated the claims the moment it was notified.
“He never tried to touch us or take money, it was just a way for him to stop from going to work. I used to see him walking around on Thursday and wondered why the world hadn’t fallen. Then I saw him leaning against that couch and I knew I had seen it somewhere,” said Atlas, at last able to tell his story.
“What surprises me the most is the fact that he gained a following within a matter of seconds of making the ridiculous claim. 6 billion people in the 4 days between the making of the stupid claim and the debunking, thereof, he pretty much had everyone convinced. That picture is so poorly edited. He hasn’t even taken the time to photoshop it. You can clearly see the mosaic floor. And for God’s sake that’s a deevan that he’s leaning against, the idiot can’t even do a legitimate headstand. Plus look at the disciple’s name. If you’re already claiming to lift the world why would you ever trust a man named Atlas? About as bad as a religious capitalist trusting a man named Lenin. But, I think the most arrogant thing he’s done is that this floor is not even on the ground, it’s the second floor. There’s zero truth to any part of his claim. If I didn’t know better I’d definitively declare that there were a whole bunch of stupid shits in the world who are ready to buy any tripe that they were sold as long as they claimed some holy purpose,” said a young man going by the name of Swami Nithyananda.
Sharath himself has reportedly disappeared from both the ashram in Antarctica and his place of work. He’s rumored to be plotting the rise of his own vote bank by pitching for a quota for “fraud uncles”.
This report is a part of Volume 1 of the Outhouse Letters. Click on the image to see more details
