Drunk, deranged judge frees self-confessed fratricide for being secular
If the diseased deceased had been a follower of a different mass delusion or religion it would have given these vote-hungry mofos so much shit to kick around during local elections next week. I’m convinced many more people would have been burned killed and raped in that order by those necrophiliac putrid sacks of shit if you hadn’t thought ahead, had the foresight to pick a fight with a gentleman of your self-same subcaste. You are a national hero.”
“Twice as I was urinating (my bladder was in cahoots with my transplanted traitorous kidneys) my kidneys asked me to consider the poor victim, his family, his aged mother but there are no innocents. I’m sure he peed on public property and wanked off while thinking about relatives. He should have known better than to pick a fight over your adroit complaint. Lane discipline is important. He must have been mentally ill to drive so irresponsibly. He should have not made fun of your country-made revolver when you pointed it at him. Witnesses have told the court about how he took out his finger and pointed it at you when you pointed the gun at him.”
“This is highly offensive and we’re taught as children not to point. He was a dog *and* a man with no lane discipline. A sort of dog-man, but you already knew that since you loudly called him a son of a bitch. My right kidney pointed out that you could have retorted with the standard procedure as laid out in the CBSE syllabus for fourth standard. You could have said “one finger pointed at me is three back at you.” But you emptied your gun into his gut and proceeded to dissect his corpse and rip out his heart.”
“That’s a lot of bottled up rage, you know. Almost as bad as a conspiring full bladder that gangs up with your kidneys against your brain. What adds to my sense of happiness is that I am also the same gender and community as you. How fucking amazing is that?! So I’m letting you go. I want you to stay off mischief for a while. Next time I might have you hanged till you die or till you come up with a violent word that rhymes with violet. That’s a crossword puzzle clue that my brother created in ’93. I’m sure he was screwing with my head, for screwing with his “biatch” but fair’s fair. I might even convert just to be part of a different community than my family, but enough about my daddy issues.”
“You confessed. You killed him. You sat in your car and cried. And then you waived legal counsel. But you smart, sensitive, wonderful man, not a single line in a newspaper because the one guy you picked a fight with was the same sub-caste. I could kiss you if I wasn’t so insecure about my own sexuality. Straight as a whistle, you know. But every part of my body, except the urinary system agrees that you should be set free. Go, ye, secure in your secularism, so secure that it need never be questioned. Remember, hunter and hunted there are no innocents. Drive safe and shoot straight.”
The judge then left the court house and shot a few organ donors, of his own community. He needed a new liver.
This scene is an excerpt from an upcoming book called the “Rakshas Purana”
