UBL has apparently been Texting angry smileys at Iceland's leaders over the flight disruption caused by the volcano
AF-PAKISTAN BORDER
“Hey, we had planned for every contingency but this volcano thing… it never occured to us. It’s really unfair. We don’t even want to screw with Iceland, yet, but they’ve shut us down more effectively than practically everybody else. Also I’m worried that this volcano is actually getting more press than us,” said, Mullah Hakimullah Assistant Manager Europe Operations for Al- Qaeda.
GLASGOW
In some cities the hijackers themselves are apparently contemplating committing terrorism in less glamorous buses. “We were traveling in a group, but now we’ve had to break up. It’s like a great music band broken up a chick except we’re terrorists and it’s a force of nature. So, yeah, it’s completely different,” said one wannabe death-from-above young man.
LONDON
“Yeah, this is really uncomfortable, carrying around all the luggage and the weapons and the wash facilities are overwhelmed, honestly. The airport officials are being nice about it, I mean, it’s not their fault. What can one do about the weather. Once it’s back we’ll be on our way to kill all these people, or as many as we can till they kill us, or maybe they’ll just catch us at the metal detector thingy. Can’t wait to find out,” said the only woman in the group we interviewed, carrying tons of extra handbags.
KATHMANDU
“Obviously, very disappointed. I should have been holding some 160 Indians hostage in a Pakistani airport by now. I was looking forward to a few good weeks of rest and relaxation in the home country and meeting my cousin post release by the Indian authorities, but I guess Kasab will have to wait. I mean, he’s not going anywhere, his trial will take a bit longer, but I would like to see him soon,” said a non-Pakistani poor person from Lahore, waiting for his Air India flight to “Doesn’t matter”.
