India is all set to rip of Bhutanese movies next.
Adding a huge boost to India’s foreign relations and with the full support of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, the Indian Ministry of External Affairs has secured Bollywood’s right to rip movies off of the film industries of the SAARC and ASEAN nations, without having to publicly acknowledge copyright, or pay licensing fees and use the word “inspired” for movies that are anything but.
This report is a part of Volume 1 of the Outhouse Letters. Click to see more details
“Historically India’s plagiarism has been US-centric. Of late, we’ve been remaking regional language films as well. But it’s almost incestuous to remake a Tamil movie in Hindi, that Hindi movie in Kannada, then the Kannada movie in Telugu, and the Telugu movie back into Tamil. The Foreign Ministry’s initiative to now rip off movies from Bangladesh(which has incidentally banned Indian movies), Bhutan and the Maldives is a step in the right direction,” opined 8th Standard student Thabish, recently released from Bangladesh after successfully defending himself from charges of sinking an island by jumping up and down on it.
It’s also important to note that the US has lost some its superpower-sheen with producers willing to remake flop movies. The Shadow is one of the worst movies ever made, but such is the loss in stature of Hollywood that there are serious proposals to remake a flop. This wonderful little bit url is proof enough that the world and India cannot look only to the States. http://bit.ly/dfV6Ze
Old Boy
A top secret accord was apparently signed with South Korea through the use of back channel diplomacy under the stewardship of Music Director Anu Malik and a boy called Prajwal. The agreement allows Bollywood to launch atleast 6 sub-par inspirations powered by a vomit-puke hybrid engine. Former Bank Manager AVX Shenoy said on the condition of anonymity that India used a photocopied version of the deal it signed with Russia over the use of the cryogenic engines for satellite launches. “A few commas were edited and we used a US/UK spell check conversion and then did a CTRL+H replacing the word “rocket” with “movie”.
An old Boy in "Zinda"
Experts widely agree that the remaking of the sub-par Zinda was the first test run. Having seen Zinda and the unfortunate Ugly aur Pagli a photocopy of My Sassy Girl they estimate 4 more bad remakes of good Korean movies are to be expected. Defense Minister Anthony is purportedly in favor of creating original movies like 3 Idiots but it is believed that he is in the minority*. (*What else can one expect of an atheist, anti-communist leader) India has also been able to speed up it’s indigenous rip-off industry by acquiring several 7″ inch portable DVD players. It is believed that the US tried to pressure other countries to keep this technology away from India in the early ’90s as a part of the MTCR. The American attempt ultimately failed as the DVD players simply couldn’t be sucessfully equated with long range missiles due to the absense of Rumsfeld and Cheney in the administration of the time.
Portable DVD players are used to copy movies shot by shot
Several highly unoriginal directors have already used the DVD players to copy the exact scene shot by shot.This technology was also tested with Zinda. Foreign ministry officials are quick to deny charges that India’s move to copy movies of regional countries is a move targeted against China. “They’re our neighbours, if the conditions are right, we’ll try to get Bollywood to copy a Chinese movie as well.”
