Expressing deep anguish over people pushing the envelope too much, a Bangalore postman said he is finding it difficult to deliver the posts in a secure manner. “It has become fashionable these days to push the envelope too much” said Basavaraj Sagar, “Even children, who are not even taught how to write a letter, are told to push the envelope. As a result, you have envelopes that have become so stretched that they get torn very easily”.
Envelopes -- one push too far
Linguist and English Professor N Ramesh very boringly attributed this to improper knowledge of idioms in English. “I don’t know whether the postman is trying to do a really bad joke or people have turned pathetic in the usage of English idioms”, said the Professor. On the other end of the language spectrum, noted Kannada litterateur U R Ananthamurthy said the need of the hour was to have envelopes in Kannada. When this reporter pointed out the impractical nature of this suggestion, Ananthamurthy angrily turned away and walked straight into a wall.
The torn envelopes have led to losses of property worth several rupees. Homemaker Girija Satyaprakash reported the loss of a money order of 37 rupees that she had sent to her younger brother on the occasion of Naga Panchami. Computer store owner Farooq Machinewala noted that he had lost 8 rupees and his son. Facebook generation representative, and generically named, Raj said, “Post? Envelopes? What the hell, people still use those?!”
Reacting to the incident, former future Prime Minister L K Advani said people should try pushing swadeshi things like earthen pots before moving on to foreign inventions like envelopes. Former Prime Minister H D Devegowda then strangely accused Sonia Gandhi of harming the nation’s interests by not pushing anything anywhere. Ms. Gandhi reacted by rehashing an old speech of hers and called Mr. Devegowda “South ka saudagar,” which was not insulting at all and left the political establishment in a state of general confusion. Robot Chitti and Aishwarya Rai registered their protest against the extreme pushing of envelopes by launching into a completely unnecessary and bizarre dance number. Noted wicketkeeper Vijay Dahiya was conspicuous by his absence from all these events.
