Presenter:
And now for the continuing flood alert in Delhi. Our on site correspondent..corresponds.
Backstage:
Did that idiot forget his lines again?
…
Presenter:
Yes, thanks. Delhi as you know has had multiple issues lately. And the residents are doing their best to cope. In the last month the city has seen a heightened terror alert, the common wealth games and of course the floods. But the sheer ingenuity of the citiziens of this once imperial capital of the greatest empires on Earth remains to this day.
Correspondent:
With us today is Bikram Verma. Bikram how long have you been in Delhi?
Bikram:
Das Sal…ten years
Correspondent:
Teekh hai Bikram aap is flood keliye kaise prepare kar rahein hain? I mean what are you doing to prepare for the floods?
Bikram:
Ji first ki first yahan OMNI jo hai usko dikhata hoon. In the omni I can kidnap upto three people your size or have two people holding down the kidnappee. This is something I can’t do during the floods as the car is no good. So I have purchased this boat on eBay that has a lot of floor space. Also, while I kidnap and blindfold the hostage i do not want them drowning in the flood. SO I have purchased many tubes to ensure they do not die before i get the ransom. Incidentally, I’m worried about the diarhhoea and cholera. I cannot abide people who can’t control their bowels, their biggest fear that I might just snuff ‘em out if they get my carpet dirty. I’ve been in talks with my partners and we’ve decided to kidnap some extra doctors till the dengue season is over.
Correspondent:
achaa. So, there you go. This is how the kidnappers of Delhi are preparing. Back to the studio
Kidnapper Confirms He's Ready for Rainy Season
