The Yamuna Expressway was supposed to be a simple highway from Greater Noida (Near the “N” in New Delhi on the map) and Agra. The salient points:
While millionaires moan about poverty a few progressive Indians want this highway built and move the heck on...
• What it is: 200 km of tarred terrain stretching from one overcrowded city to another overcrowded city
• Farmers were paid 45 lakhs per acre($100,000 US), a good bunch of them took it
• Eventually they realized, to their horror, that the government after having bought the land…would use it in a profitable manner
• The UP government went about selling the land at three times the price after a whole bunch investment and modifications
• Ram Babu Kathaliya and Manveer Singh Tewatiya started protesting for more moolah
• Ram the negotiator got his bit and quit.
• Manveer Singh Tewatiya unhappy with talking about his feelings, is now allegedly instigating the cop killing and poor sloganeering (most of these slogans don’t even rhyme apparently, with home made guns punctuating all the wrong pauses as the poor police duck and cover-up their own alleged excesses)
• Manveer Singh Tewatiya is a poor farmer who owns a factory and is looking for $200,000 per acre.
• Rahul Gandhi, the millionaire MP of Amethi , son of Sonia Gandhi, asserted that he was “ashamed to be an Indian”, and friend of Mindry.in Rakesh pointed out that well, several people have already alleged in their opinion that he isn’t really Indian.
• Ex-BJP President Rajnath Singh who’s not led the party to electoral victory (like Rahul) has decided to go on a fast in support of the people who allegedly grow India’s food. This irony was lost on many people but would have been appreciated if it was near one of those warehouses in Punjab that seem to want to burn all their food.
Back to the people actually in power in Uttar Pradesh. Mayawati, who spent the first few years in office building statues of herself and other large land mammals, seems to actually want to put some infrastructure in place before the next elections. But no one else seems terribly invested in development in this country, low interest rates on the other hand have rarely be a problem.
But a solution looks like it’s round the corner. An irritated bunch of elitists and Industrialists who want India to move the heck on have allegedly prevailed on a certain leader of Gujarat to allow for a quick 1000 km detour to his state to complete the jinxed Yamuna Express Way. “Look at this rate the drive from Delhi and Agra will take two elections one riot, a dozen deaths and several extra hours to boot. The 1,000 click detour through Gujarat is most likely going to be faster. Modi sahab is gaining more and more acceptance, sure it’s from acclaimed English writers who don’t write proper English and leaders who refuse to get elected but what the hell, you know? The devil you know, you know?” said noted 8th standard expert Thabish.
“What’s really sad is some historians might eventually say, ‘This is why all Mayawati could do was build statues of her, elephants and Kanshi Ram. We were a stupid nation. We provided no positive feedback for development. Same thing happened with Singur etc etc. ’ But if Maya is amenable we’re sure that this highway can go through Gujarat. Yes, yes, Rajasthan is in between, but they don’t grow much do they? All their farmers died out in the Indus Valley civilization right? The highway may go through Kota, that place with all the IIT tuition houses. So travellers may even learn some differential equations. We may not have truckers who follow driving rules but they’ll sure know Leibnitz’s rules. Plus, this way we can build loads of malls and if we play our cards right, we could possibly squeeze in enough parking in the extra 1,000 kilometers,” asserted noted tax payer AVX Shenoy.
This report is a part of Volume 1 of the Outhouse Letters. Click on the image to see more details
While much of this is hearsay, and cop-killing in India isn’t viewed in the same manner as cop-killing in other nations with enforceable laws and such, any end to mindless violence will free up some time to make fun of light-hearted things like Rajeev Masand’s mannerisms and the latest cutting edge “stealth” mints from the Swiss Navy. Perhaps all this can be blamed on Pakistan some how.
