After adamantly hanging on to the seat of power in Tamil Nadu for several decades, former chief minister M. Karunanidhi has now reportedly named his present seat, an electrically-powered wheelchair, his successor to the DMK chairmanship and, predictably, the post of future TN CM as well. The aged DMK supremo, who has annoyed his two sons for years on end by refusing to step down from the top post, has bypassed both Azhagiri and Stalin (who was rumoured to be Karunanidhi’s favourite) and instead anointed the wheelchair, a total darkhorse. The DMK chief’s decision is said to have come about as a result of his party’s complete and utter defeat at the hands of J Jayalalitha’s AIADMK in the 2011 assembly polls.
DMK chief M. Karunanidhi, pictured here sitting on his successor
“For a long time now, this miracle of science has been my support structure” said the former chief minister, looking very much a defeated man. “It stood by me…actually, it stood underneath me as I went through life’s trials and tribulations. This is my way of saying thanks — by making it the next CM.”
The announcement has expectedly triggered heated emotions amongst followers of Azhagiri and Stalin, as well as amongst followers of the wheelchair. Azhagiri’s followers, as per routine, burned down several newspaper offices and sales outlets while Stalin’s followers maintained a dignified silence while participating in the same activities. The wheelchair’s followers, however, have condemned all these activities and taken to the streets, attacking DMK cadres with wheelchairs of their own. Several disabled people were reportedly facing a severe shortage of mobility equipment because of this, and were last spotted staying wherever they were on Chennai’s Anna Salai.
The wheelchair thrust into the limelight due to this turn of events has refused to comment on the issue, but is reportedly seeking the advice of constitutional scholars, legal experts and Cho Ramaswamy about whether or not there is allowance for equipment to become heads of state. Already, the BJP is raising the wheelchair’s foreign (and industrial) origin as an issue (it is said to be “Made in the USA”) and is expected to run with that until they get bored of it and find something else to play with. Meanwhile, this afternoon’s scheduled Wikileaks expose revealed that an unnamed American diplomat had already sent a cable to US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, appraising her of Karunanidhi’s decision. Clinton is said to have asked the diplomat whether the wheelchair had a pro-US tilt or whether it would be “like that Mani Something Aiyar person”. However, no tilts were spotted in the wheelchair and it is presently stably transporting its predecessor everywhere.
As of press time, the wheelchair is said to have convened a special meeting of the DMK to address the party faithful and reassure them in these trying times. The meeting is also expected to function as a release function for the book of poetry penned by the wheelchair.
