Free biscuits were allegedly given by all parties to cunning voters
Democracy is facing its greatest enemy in Modern India: the cunning voter. One aspiring legislator was utterly hoodwinked by the residents of Jayshankari 3rd Block. After having bought the residents a color TV, gold coins and a plot of land none of the residents showed up to vote.
“Yeah, I took the TV. It was nice. I would have preferred a flat-screen but this is also okay. On Election Day I was watching Family Guy. These nimrods at Star World insisted it was better than the Simpsons so I watched the telethon. Made detailed notes and composed a “Fuck you” letter to the wonderful people at Star. I didn’t have time to vote, okay?” said one resident of Jayshankari, Syed Christopher.
His neighbour Kiran Nishant also talked to us. “I asked him for a nano, he gave me this useless site I could have gotten anyway through my membership with Country Club. I told him if he wanted my vote he’d have to build a highway to the site. He said he’d get on it after he got elected. I told him to fuck himself.”
The “him” in question is wannabe MLA Veerakeshava D.N. formerly from the IOPBOI. Ajay Sharma of the politican’s rights group Join India’s Politicians (JIP) has taken up Veerakeshava’s cause. “At this rate these bloody voters will have development and all from the legislators even before they actually get elected. That is morally and ethically unacceptable. This is a problem in Jayshankari all started by AVX Shenoy, J Varadachari and that pesky Thabish.
In the most recent case one voter demanded an infrastructure project be completed. Poor, brave Veerakeshava has had to already spend 3 crores of his black money on this campaign.
And after all that these bloody Jayshankarians didn’t even show up to vote. They can’t treat their politicians like this!” thundered this misguided enthu-cutlet to Mindry.in. It is learnt that the losing candidate was then expelled from his party.
This report is a part of Volume 1 of the Outhouse Letters. Click to see more details
Mindry.in, however, condemns this kind of anti-cunningism and is concerned with the actions of this pro-politician unaccountable organization JIP. Our sources in the IOPBOI weren’t available for comment.
