Highly inebriated sources suggest that the DRDO stopped wasting its time on cruise missiles and drones that India'll never use and focus on deadly dossiers that'll bore the enemy to death
Secret reports from highly classified sources have suggested that the Indian Defence Research & Development Organisation (DRDO) has abandoned the testing of long-range nuclear capable missiles and focussed its efforts to methods more suited to the UPA’s astute strategy to assure India’s security. The DRDO is now, apparently, testing highly verbose document templates that the Home Ministry can unleash on Pakistan the next time tax paying citizens die at the hands of that mistake of a nation.
The main hiccup seems to be the ability to idiot-proof the dossiers. “There’s been a lot of talk about avoiding typos, grammatical errors, homonym errors and of course, getting the names right. The whole horrible thing with us asking Pakistan to handover that guy in Thane made the dossiers less effective. Yes, if it wasn’t for that typo they would have absolutely handed over the suspects.”
“So, basically there seem to be a lot of idiots representing India’s interests and presenting India’s dossiers. In field trials with the bureaucrats we notice they keep forgetting to use CTRL+S after they make changes and clicking on the refresh button. So we’ll still need some rocket scientists on hand everytime we launch a dossier,” said a source close to Mindry.in.
This new strategy to stop wasting our money and the time of Russian engineers to dig through their archives for things they worked out in the ’80s seems to be a calculated one. Perhaps we can indeed bore the enemy to death.
This report is a part of Volume 1 of the Outhouse Letters. Click to see more details
