Dishant's Organization Will Use "Influence" to Fight Corruption
Greatly inspired by Anna Hazare’s fast for LokPal and Baba Ramdev’s now evicted fast against graft, Dishant V, a resident of East of Kailash, a posh locality in South Delhi has decided to do his bit in the fight against corruption. Dishant has started the India Rubs Up Against Corruption movement and is going to be using the considerable clout of his maternal and paternal uncles, and a cousin “brother” twice removed, who’s technically his nephew but old enough to be his uncle…to fight corruption.
“Awasthi Uncle is not a relative, but my grandfather who was an MLA at the time gave him a recommendation letter and now he’s pretty high up in the local government. My college is very corrupt. It just lets in people from the disgusting merit quota or high bank balance who keep the school functioning by paying teacher’s salaries and things. Using Awasthi Uncle’s influence I can get people who weren’t recognized by the arbitrary examination system as meritorious into some good colleges. That’ll be my contribution to society. Oh, how will I pick them? Well, I can always tell a person’s character by looking at them. I’ve never been wrong. Never. Even Tinku says so.
Tinku can get even guilty people off the hook. Imagine what he can do once I get him to help my friends, who’re innocent. I’d also like to do something for my sub-caste. My sub-caste doesn’t get enough in the quotas. If that’s not corruption, what is? I will get Tinku to draw up legislation to help my people. No, it’ll also be for everyone else… but “mine first”, you know? That’s what Pappchand Mama says.
Pappchand Mama is the local fixer. He gets drivers licenses done in two days. My sister drives really well but her friends are hopeless. They paid Mama Rs 4,000 and everything got done. The Regional Transport Office (RTO) peon came and delivered the licenses to them. No, no, Pappchand Mama didn’t pay off the clerks, he owns them. He threatened their lives. He has a lot of influence. I will use my uncles’ influence to fight corruption,” beamed Dishant.
We also spoke to AVX Shenoy, who had this to say about Dishant. “The India Rubs Up Against Corruption Movement started by Dishant..perhaps, addresses a root cause of corruption. The middle class may be sick of corruption, but it’s an active participant in several corrupt activities. While we constantly rail against the traffic cop taking a bribe and the government clerk taking his mamool, we forget that the government is one of the largest employers in the country. A significant number of our employed family members are hooked up to the government. In Delhi, that’s a lot more people.
So, essentially, it’s our uncles, our nephews and our aunts that are our clerks, traffic cops and bribe takers. They help us skip ahead of the queue in some places and other people’s uncles skip their nephews and nieces ahead of us in offices that we have no familial ties to. And then, of course, we vote for the guy who’s from our community and will give recommendation letters to undeserving friends. What do you mean don’t get so serious, da? No, I won’t give you a recommendation for a national award. Go to hell, Sharath.”
This report is a part of Volume 1 of the Outhouse Letters. Click to see more details
Mindry.in has not reached consensus about this movement either. While it squares well with our Pro-nepotism anti-corruption movement, most of our uncles are retired and are of no use at all.
