Who's bugging this guy?
1. Naturalist David Attenborough:
Pro: Senior leaders of the Indian National Congress of Indian origin have evoked mixed reactions from behavioral experts. Some suspect David Attenborough of bugging the Indian Finance Minister’s office. The complete lack of self-respect in needlessly fawning over the remnants of the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, that must have piqued his curiosity. And he’s really good at sneaking up on strange creatures in their native habitat.
Con: But Attenborough could’ve easily bugged the BJP’s offices as it’s reported that several anthropologists are equally curious as to why the BJP keeps BSY around. I mean, he’s not even a Gandhi.
2. Wrigley’s is sending a message:
Pro: Mukherjee is believed to have yelled at an IAS officer for chewing gum in his office during a weekly meeting and asked said officer to either stop chewing the gum or leave. Word of this travesty may have gotten back to the cartel that controls Spearmint. Notably, no bugs were found in Mukherjee’s office only gum. Is the don of Spearmint sending Pranab da a message?
Con: Wrigley’s is cool as hell and wouldn’t bother with Mukherjee. Plus, his constant increase of taxes on tobacco has benefited Wrigley’s to no end.
3. Spies: Since He seems to Talk and Stuff
Pro: Unusual for a senior UPA official, Pranab da is known to talk. As in he uses words at audible amplitudes to string together his thoughts and co-mmu-ni-cate. Since Sonia, Rahul and the PM allegedly use sign language, telepathy, bee dances, dolphin clicks… bugging their offices seems to be rather pointless.
Con: They could’ve easily bugged Digvijay Singh’s office. He says loads of things.
4. Aliens In Orbit Trying to Learn Bonglish
Pro: No matter what Hollywood says, everyone knows that aliens are in orbit of Earth and are learning all Earth languages to ask their sacred question: “You guys know the way to Neptune?” Bonglish(a super clever portmanteau of Bengali and English) is spoken by more people on the planet than German and is probably an older dialect than German, too. Deal with it, Merkel. The aliens don’t want to risk some Bengali dude knowing the way to Neptune and missing out on finally getting some directions.
Con: Mamatha Bannerjee has been shouting in Bonglish loud enough to be heard in space forevermore. Plus, Neptune is a pretty large planet, easy to find.
5. That Home Loan Guy In The Call Centre
Pro: Mr Mukherjee was once famously interrupted in the middle of a press conference by a telemarketing agent. At the time, Mukherjee is believed to have said something like “Not right now.” This entry level agent is now the leading suspect. Customers never get back to the agent when they finally want that loan. So it’s only natural that the agent had Pranab’s office bugged.
Con: This particular agent has moved on and is now a Team Lead. So he’s not going to be making lowly calls or worrying about sales, he’s into supervision and stuff.
In conclusion: someone decided to screw with the Indian Government and let them know about it. Frankly, there are easier ways to listen in on a conversation than putting 16 microphones in an office. The US bugged foreign embassies through lasers decades ago, the Soviets did something very similar…also decades ago. This smacks of “I want you to know that I know.”
