Karnataka MLAs Caught Watching Porn on Phone, Fired

Karnataka's Ministers were allegedly watching a porn clip during a gripping debate on either Pakistani flag hoisting or rave parties. I miss the good old days when MLAs just slept and snored in the House

What Happened:

Karnataka Cooperation Minister Laxman Savadi was allegedly busy cooperating with his colleague CC Patil by showing him a porn clip in the Hall  of the People. CC Patil is incidentally the Women and Child Welfare Minister.  The phone belonged to Science and Technology minister Krishna Palemar.

What are poor people saying?

“The question is not about morality or the use of the Vidhan Sabha. The real question is why can’t I watch porn on my phone? I can only play Snake 2 and Space Impact. How does one get these vids on  a phone. Not that I want to watch porn, but you know, educational material like David Attenborough’s documentary on Jackasses in the Wild,” said noted poor person Prakash while fingering his Nokia 1100 with newfound selfdoubt.  “Patil also said that Savadi would never do something like have sex. I’m not so sure about voting for a 40-year-old virgin.”

What are rich people saying?

“In the good old days MLAs used to snore in the House. When I was in the north they used to throw chairs and stuff . Now it’s just pathetic. CC Patil’s defense was first saying ‘that Palemar fellow gave me clip. Nan alla, saar’ (not me, not me, sir. He started it) Then he gave some reel* on researching rave parties and the plight of women in Iran. That’s a lame excuse for watching a gangbang MMS on a phone. He also termed it as “rape”, I cannot determine this until we watch the video. And I looked it up on my galaxy note. It’s not that easy to get that clip when you google “rave party” and “Iran”. I tried along with a few other million people, resulting in both those terms trending on Google India. What I’m most concerned about is that this shouldn’t be used as an excuse to give a quota to Iranian pornstars, producers or even rave party organizers and attenders. No more quotas, damn it!” said an unnamed owner of Samsung Galaxy Note . “Also stop saying Prakash is poor. He’s in first sem and has my old 1100. Stupid shit is not even worthy of that phone, but mom insisted I give it to her darling baby.”

I told you so!

We at mindry.in had warned the population through our coverage on TACCT about the dangers of older people getting hold of the Internet. They’re not ready for this. We’re not ready to handle their mistakes with new media. They were oblivious to the cameras above their heads. What would our MLAs have been doing if not watching porn? Our bucket-loads of money was being spent on a gripping debate on who hoisted the Pakistani flag in the middle of nowhere in North Karnataka. A matter of grave concern. These guys weren’t doing anything useful and were checking out some porn.

What is the Opposition Saying?

Siddaramaiah, the little known Leader of Opposition decried the incident as the most shameful in the Karnataka Vidhana Sabha’s history, conveniently forgetting his pushing and shoving police during a no confidence motion. Gulihatti Shekhar famously did a Hulk Hogan like shirt tearing manouever at the same no-confidence motion.

Another leader of the opposition, former chief minister HD Kumaraswamy, asked for the ministers to resign. Kumaraswamy is famous for triggering a multi-million dollar mid-term election using my money simply because his bro ALSO wanted to become chief minister and didn’t want a 2year-each power sharing agreement with the BJP honored. Kumaraswamy is also infamous for having, perhaps, an actress on the side who’s now the proud mother of his love child, while simultaneously being married to his first wife. Always nice to see our leaders talk of morality.

Result:

Thoroughly embarrased by the behaviour of their three MLAs the BJP has gotten them to resign. The same party that took months to get rid of BSY, dithered on what to do with rape-accused Halappa before getting him to go, has wasted less than 12 hours to dismiss these guys. The world is still very much run on shame. So be it. These three men are no loss to CM Sadananda Gowda, Karnataka, India or even the telecom company that’s billing me and you for their 3G connection on those iPads.

*reel=dissembling in Kannada

Used in a sentence: “ounu porn nododbagge reel bitta” (He dissembled when caught watching porn)

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