Salman Khurshid Censured: Minorities Relieved That They Don’t HAVE To Work for Loss-Making PSUs

Is Salman Khurshid now planning a quota for those censured by the election comission?

Esteemed Union Law Minister Salman Khurshid, loved and respected by all in the land has been censured by the beloved and flawless Election Commission of India for promising job and education quotas to minorities based on solely on their religion. Various sections of the minority community have reacted.

Relieved we don’t have to work in PSUs just to make Khurshid happy:
“Khurshid is the Union Law Minister. He’s also the Minority Affairs minister. So when he walked into that meeting and said we’d get a quota within the quota I was like “What? Now I have to work in HMT and not get paid for months just because Sallu uncle said so?” Hell, I want to get a good frigging job in a good frigging company because my kung-fu is strong,” said one member of a minority community.

Kids React As Well
Children under the age of 10 and with the same imaginary friend had their hopes dashed, however. “There are eight of us who believe in peace and love and we have the same imaginary friend. At first our parents were concerned that we hadn’t outgrown imaginary friends. But I told my mother that we were practically a religion and she was causing communal disharmony. She backed the hell off after that. She was downright proud of me that I wouldn’t have to use Dad’s quota and would be eligible to get a quota of my own. But now with Khurshid censured we might not get enough credit for having the same imaginary friend. His latest accusations saying other people are crying is also depressing,” said one wistful 9 year old remembering the good old days when people denied they ever cried.

“Back when I was 6 we would say ‘If you’re a boy, you never cried’. We never cried. We were boys. There was something in our eye. Or dust used to come in. Or it was a fly sitting in our eye but flew off, man. There was even one time where I was laughing so hard after I got slapped by my teacher that others mistook it for crying. I set them straight. Now everyone says they cried. Pathetic,” lamented the 10 year old at Khurshid’s new controversial statement that Sonia Gandhi cried for the dead bad guys when she heard the cops gunned them down at Batla.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *