Exclusive! Why Congress lost UP polls?

Rahul Gandhi
After two days of introspection into what went wrong for the party in the Uttar Pradesh polls the Congress party has finally found the answer. Though the party is not ready to come out with the actual reason in the open, sources have told Mindry.in that Rahul Gandhi and the entire Digvijay Singh (yes, Digvijay Singh is himself like a party and hence needs to be qualified as ‘entire Digvijay Singh’) are shocked at what they have discovered. This shocking revelation is that none of the ‘Dalit’ homes that Rahul Gandhi visited prior to UP polls belonged to Dalits and instead were temporary tents put up by sychophant Congress workers who wanted Rahulji to stay in their ‘home’ and eat the food that they prepare. This angered the Dalits who voted en masse against the Congress.

Promising strict action against these workers Rahul Gandhi said, “I am here to stay for the long haul. I belong to a family whose members have sacrificed their lives for secularism”, confusing his partymen as to what that statement had to do in the context of Rahul being misled by party workers. Rahul also promised that he would stay for a day in every Congress party worker’s home so that they don’t have to resort to the kind of tactics adopted by them in UP. Considering that Congress has millions of workers, this would keep the future PM occupied for most of the next decade.

“This shows how Rahul has come of age. Earlier he would have probably let the issue die down. But now he has decided to take the cliched bull by its even more cliched horn. He has decided to visit all the workers for a day each. This would help him understand the party better. It will make him a better Prime Minister if and when he decides to become one in the next decade”, said political scientist Dr. Yadav in an ¬†unmistakable fawning tone.

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